Welcome One & All!

Hello and welcome to the first ever teamR3TARD OFFICIAL entry (ignore all the rest)!

So, you are probably asking yourself the question of "Who on God's earth is teamR3TARD?" Well, think no longer!

teamR3TARD are a bunch of banger enthusiasts who are based at the Northern Banger Track, Warton Stock Car Club. teamR3TARD consists of: Ells Bells, Beniro, King Wayne, and Dan/Fran 492.

teamR3TARD fully kicked off at the start of this year and have quickly became Warton's Local Heros!

We aim to mix people's passion for the sport with a large mix of comical phrases and ancedotes from "The R3TARD Corner".

The R3TARD corner is the corner in which we are situated at, it is the most colourful part of Warton. It is recognisable by hundreds of yellow & black checkerd flags and people wearing yellow t-shirts.

Anyways, we all here at teamR3TARD hope that you enjoy reading our future posts!

teamR3TARD, checking out!

http://www.teamretard.co.nr/

Caravan Meeting - R3TARDs On Fire?

Well the caravan meeting has just been and gone, and may I say the two teamR3TARD cars seemed on form which is very odd indeed!

I managed to rack up straight thirds and a trophy, and on the other side of things The King managed to get a trophy for a 3rd as well!

Been a decent days racing, caravans weren't as bad as I feared either, the two JCBs made a hell of a difference, big thumbs up to the comittee for investing in hiring them!

Dan492
teamR3TARD

Some Awesome Figures

Ok, teamR3TARD have been online almost one week now! And already http://www.teamretard.co.nr has some promising figures to look at! Here is a brief run-down of them!

Unique Visitors: 125
Actions: 534
Average actions per visit 4.3
Total time spent: 12h 24m
Average time spent per visit: visit 10m 57.3s

And also, 27 people have bookmarked the site!

Let's spread the word around and keep this work up!

Dan492
teamR3TARD

teamR3TARD is Online!

So, in the last few days teamR3TARD have managed to launch themselves into a new dimension. The world of computer geeks and no-life frantic google searchers and wikipedia researchers!

It started with the launch of the Official Website which brings us all teamR3TARD merchandise such as caps and jackets, and was closely followed by the creation of the teamR3TARD & banger racing forum!

That's all for R3TARDmania at the moment!

Love as ever,

Dan492

JOKE: Walkies

A man had a pet centipede, one day he went up to it and said, "do you want to go for a walk?", the centipede didn't reply so the guy walked away.

Later he went back and asked it "do you want to go for a walk?", again it didn't reply and he walked away.

A while later the man went back to his centipede and again said "do you want to go for that walk?", at which point the centipede looked up and said........... "can you wait until I get my shoes on!!"

JOKE: Push

A loud pounding on the door awakens a man and his wife at 3 o'clock in the morning. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three 'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring out!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please! said the man. "where are you then??" says the husband. "to your left" says the man. "on the swing"

JOKE: Porch

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said, 'How much will you charge me?'

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 'How about $50?'

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, 'Does she realize our porch goes ALL the way around the house?'

He responded, 'That's a bit cynical, isn't it?'

The wife replied, 'You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting lately .'

An hour or so later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

'You're finished already?' the startled husband asked.

'Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had lots of paint left over, so I gave it TWO COATS!!

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

'Oh! And by the way,' the blonde added, 'it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.'

Senior Mini Update - 12th May

Well, here is yet another entry into this lovely blog page =]

So, today is Monday the 12th May, and how is my mini coming on?

Well, very well actually!!!

Yeah, Andrew has taken all the front off and rebuilt most of it in 4-5 hours (I was amazed as he has never touched a stock car before) and now all that is waiting to be done to it is a few alterations to the steel-work. Extra protection is needed in front of, and over the wheels and that is about it really!

Also today we went to Andy's to buy a new radiator for the car!

So, all being well I will be racing next meeting to try and maintain my championship lead!

Much thanks and appreciation to all who have offered to help and have helped, it hasn't been taken lightly!

Dan #492

Senior Mini Update - 7th May

Well, hey again guys!

Well, today I took time off college in order to get my car sorted out,
it ends up I needn't have bothered. When I arrived at John's garage I was met by a engine and a engine-less car!

He had managed to take the engine out of the mini quicker than I could tie my laces (well).

So, how does it look you may be asking?

Well, the truth is...it looks fixable! It is bent like hell etc. but most of it should straighten up thanks to Andrew volunteering to rebuild it!

So, if things run as smoothly as planned, my Senior Mini may just be battling out there again next meeting (fingers crossed). Even if it will be so twisted it handles like a free-falling monster truck from a cargo plane!

So that is the update of the day =]

Happy Blogging!

Senior Minis - My Racing Career On Hold?

Well hey there guys!

This is the first blog I have ever put up on this site, basically my intention of this first blog is to explain to people what work is needed to be done on my stock car (as many people are asking me the question).

First off, for all those that don't know me, I'm Dan, I'm 17 and live in Cumbria, United Kingdom.

Since I was 11 I have been participating in stock car racing. I started off in ministox which are kids between ages of 10 and 16 and have now moved up into the Senior Mini class which is, as it says, for seniors (17+ years).

So, three races into the season and I found myself nicely at the top of the leader board by 20 points and this was great seen as my car is made on a very limited budget (shell cost about £150 and the engine £150) a lot of time and effort was also spent in preparing this car, which, as my father has a full time job and we live on a cul-de-sac is pretty hard to do.

Anyways, away from the jibbering. The last meeting at Warton was on the 4th May. I turned up after our 2 and a half our journey down ready to go racing. My racing day was cut extremely short as I got launched into the steel wall by a fellow racer.

So, after I got pushed off the track and pulled into the pits it was clear straight away just how hard I had hit the wall and how much damage the car had suffered. The front of the car was ripped completely off, both the front and rear sub frames have been badly twisted and the damage to the engine is yet unknown. This made our tempers fly for quite a while as we knew that we just don't have the sort of money, time or space available to fix this damage meaning ultimately my racing career could in fact be over as easily as that.

However, this is where there may just be some light at the end of the tunnel for me. My girls dad is an agricultural engineer and has contacts all over and has very kindly offered to rebuild the front of the mini with box-section that he can easily get hold of from Moss Bay Metals. This therefore means that engine permitting, my mini might be back out for action sooner rather than later!

So, this post is designed to keep those who are interested in how my "rebuild" is going informed! Tomorrow I am taking the day off school in order to take the engine out so we can get rebuilding the front A.S.A.P.

Just before I leave I just want to let you all know that there are no hard feelings at all between me and Mick, we have shook hands, he has apologized and offered to help me out if needed (that's real racing spirit) which is more than I can say for some people in the past! I also would like to thank all those who have shown concern for my own well-being these last couple of days, my phone has been fairly busy! Makes me feel 'special' haha. I am fine in myself, my back is pretty bruised and very stiff and my neck is swelt, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger! And in the end, it's character building!

Thanks for reading,
Dan Hurst
#492